you are what you eat

Saturday, November 6, 2010

CYBER STALK

WOW. its unbelievable my last post recorded was actually this year. seems dinosaur ages since i wrote. anyway i dont thin anyone reads this. but i kinda like it that way. 'hi!''s to you if youre still a massive cyber stalker and are reading this.

april..may..june..etc damn this year was crazy. should be the year of the snail it passes so damn slowly. maybe its just because my birthdays in the last month..

anyway so much for my "non-emo" rule. guess you cant stop a 15 year old eh? 14 and invicible turned into 15 and cowardly. i do like to write so much. no ones gonna appreciate it but then again no ones gonna read it for decades to come(Y). diaries are hard to write, it seems so much cheesier when you start with a "dear diary.."(more often accompanied by a mere 2 line entry cause by then mom's nagging at me to sleep/bathe/study etc.

yea i could crap so much here without gordon complaining i'm totally flooding his newsfeed on facebook! i told him one day when he's actually quoting me he'd thank me for all my wit.

mom likes to focus on studies. i like to focus on life. how on earth could i convince her studies are just this tiny fraction of life. but i guess theres no going around to it eh. you can barely survive without a education in this "knowledge driven" world.

mom told me to start researching for universities that'll allow me to pursue my carrer to be a vet. its cool. really cool. but somehow i find myself freaking out over how i've forgotten my password to my blogspot account rather than which university would be the best choice.

i wanna write. i really wanna write. well junyin likes to write so scratch that. i'd like to take horse riding lessons well junyin's already done that and i'm so old now the rest of the kids'll just come to class looking forward to laughing at me so scratch that. i'd like to take pictures, pictures that are non-emo and people are actually looking at the camera with no eyeshadow on them but still look gorgeous.well junyin takes pictures now, scratch that. i'd like to do so many things. everyone's done it before me there's nothing left for me to do. *mom's nagging, annoying* i can only dream of the things i wish i was good at. it aaint easy pursueing anything unique in s'pore. yea yea you critics out there say "if you want to do something, just do it no ones stopping you" (aka yingyu) but she doesnt understand what on earth its like to have an ambition and someone steal it away from you. it's a wonder why i havent given up yet. drums. yes i'm gonna do drums. *i'm not deaf mom i can bloody hear you*

no one in this family even respects me for who i am unless i'm benefiting them in some way. they all feel so safe and secure cause they know tanqijun's out there to make them feel better cause they actually think someone else is more pathetic than them. well screw you. screw my family.

maybe i'm just pms-ing

eaten. burrp. *Saturday, November 06, 2010*

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