Wednesday, November 24, 2010
PINHOLE CAMERA
i'm no np camp nerd. but this time i really miss my mates, for some odd reason. only nerds would suggest a group outing. only nerds would stalk her members on facebook for pictures. only a nerd would talk to their group instructor on fb chat.
i'm that nerd.
damn life's complicated!
hey who knew your childhood science encyclopedia could be so interesting. i gotta make a pinhole camera asap, sounds like fun. how often does your camera project images upside down eh?
anyway i miss camp. not just the people, even the camp. i miss them so much i'm looking out for their faces on the streets. lucky for me, s'pore is this " " small.
camp is fun to converse with people cause theire's actually a common thing you could talk/complain about. the food, the conditions, the itch, the instructors. much better than meeting them randomly or among friends where you have absolutely nothing to talk about.
but then again a 3 day 2 night camp is also the worst way to find out a persons true colours. cause everyone is supposed to be 1.initiative 2.creative 3.enthusiastic etc..
jy called me spiderpig, thanks. ha ha
i'm supposed to be sleeping. and i'm supposed to pray before i sleep. i should pray more, the guilt is starting to sink in.
what are the odds of me finding my red jansport tmr :/ i say pretty high :)
i shall take mommy's advice and google around.
stupid clown story is still giving me the creeps
i still miss camp, maybe i'll dream tonight, i hope i dream tonight
i'm gonna be a talk show host one day. probably. if i can magically turn into rove or ellen degeneres, i'll keep my name, sounds pretty cool.
on thr other hand, being a asian talk show host isnt so bad, just so long as people dont expect me to start spouting chinese in the middle of the interview,
ha take that emma watson, i'll bet you cant speak chinese, no. no i dont want to hear you try.
eaten. burrp. *Wednesday, November 24, 2010*
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Saturday, November 6, 2010
GREEN MONSTER OF JEALOUSY
i seriously think i'm pms-ing, but its good to post when you are cause you can actually be angry without being angry at anyybody. on facebook people just call you emo and unworthy of their "like"'s. HELLO! not saying i've got experience, its just my personal view HAHA.
who knew the encyclopedias your mom bought to crush you to death when you were 4 yrs old would come in handy at 14 (GOING TO 15 MIND YOU). i'm gonna make some really cool gifts for junyin when i visit her in london dude! all in the name of science!
its so nice to babble on here with no one judging. well this IS online but its so old is practically growing viruses or something.
i remembered watching ellen on channel 5 and telling myself i'm gonna be a talk show host one day. but then i look in the mirror and notice my black hair, missing nose bridge and (thank god not slit eyes) listen to my singlish. who the heck would want to watch a talk show with a CHINESE GIRL on it?! no offence, but i wouldnt. not like i would even be screened in america, and ew, mediacorp is so gross. unless of course i move to another country not so bad considering there's nothing to do here. here as in singapore. plenty of fun thigns to do on my bed, thats where the fun comes in cause i get to sleep. and where i sleep is where i dream.
someday people are gonna admit my words are poetry, and they're gonna analyse and quote my facebook posts and have my blog posts as unseen prose.. if life is still as pathetic then. HAHA TAKE THAT SHAKESPEARE.
my 'non-emo" rule is NOT working. i thought i was doing people a favour by not turning emotional. no one likes a girl who gets emotional. i dont like girls who get emotional. or rather, ACT emotional but its just because theyre attention seekers. wow, people better not read this till a LONG TIME has passed,
if being "non-emo" turns me into a zit popping exam failing damaged white hair cultivating woman, then i'd rather rid myself of all emotions. wouldnt it be so easy if you just couldnt care less about those papers where they actually asses how smart you are, them and their stupid boy penises equipped with all that testosterone and not to mention, something called life.
wooooosh that felt good, spilling out non sensical gibberish for the world to see on my hamburger blog. love.word.vomit.
maybe i secretly wish for people to see this, quite a pity to have it all remain hidden right, i mean look at all the wonderful things i have said that totally inspore your life. but then again i'm not interested to hear what critics say.
you know what, i love people. but sometimes people you love get you so disappointed you just wish they knew the right thing to say the right time. maybe critisizing people too much is what boosted my ego. wow, that sucks.
i hate my phone, i have a blackberry 9700 and i hate my phone.
*note to all future generations: you probably think a bb 9700 is peanuts compared to your iphone 1000009 but i have to tell you, i was pretty cool when i was your age HAHA.
nah i dont hate my phone. i hate the content.
right, i dont mix work/emotions with my personal life, hey that sounds ironic. but i myself understand it. good.
i should stop watching greys anatomy. its killing me, i cant get meredith greys voice out of my head each time a smart quote pops into my head. i've turned my life into a whole freaking drama series. well hey, it might actually be worth watching!
your life is gonna flash before you when you die, make sure its worth watching.
i am going to writeeeeee and writeeeee until that blue scroller at the side gets so smaall you have to use a microscope to even see it. i shall make this post really longgggggggggggg.
really suffering from insomnia now, i know its retarded to listen to avril lavinge: let go. as your lullaby but then again, it beats crying doesnt it.
i'm gonna have kick ass fun reading all this when i come back six months later and hopefully when my life has taken a better turn.
eaten. burrp. *Saturday, November 06, 2010*
CYBER STALK
WOW. its unbelievable my last post recorded was actually this year. seems dinosaur ages since i wrote. anyway i dont thin anyone reads this. but i kinda like it that way. 'hi!''s to you if youre still a massive cyber stalker and are reading this.
april..may..june..etc damn this year was crazy. should be the year of the snail it passes so damn slowly. maybe its just because my birthdays in the last month..
anyway so much for my "non-emo" rule. guess you cant stop a 15 year old eh? 14 and invicible turned into 15 and cowardly. i do like to write so much. no ones gonna appreciate it but then again no ones gonna read it for decades to come(Y). diaries are hard to write, it seems so much cheesier when you start with a "dear diary.."(more often accompanied by a mere 2 line entry cause by then mom's nagging at me to sleep/bathe/study etc.
yea i could crap so much here without gordon complaining i'm totally flooding his newsfeed on facebook! i told him one day when he's actually quoting me he'd thank me for all my wit.
mom likes to focus on studies. i like to focus on life. how on earth could i convince her studies are just this tiny fraction of life. but i guess theres no going around to it eh. you can barely survive without a education in this "knowledge driven" world.
mom told me to start researching for universities that'll allow me to pursue my carrer to be a vet. its cool. really cool. but somehow i find myself freaking out over how i've forgotten my password to my blogspot account rather than which university would be the best choice.
i wanna write. i really wanna write. well junyin likes to write so scratch that. i'd like to take horse riding lessons well junyin's already done that and i'm so old now the rest of the kids'll just come to class looking forward to laughing at me so scratch that. i'd like to take pictures, pictures that are non-emo and people are actually looking at the camera with no eyeshadow on them but still look gorgeous.well junyin takes pictures now, scratch that. i'd like to do so many things. everyone's done it before me there's nothing left for me to do. *mom's nagging, annoying* i can only dream of the things i wish i was good at. it aaint easy pursueing anything unique in s'pore. yea yea you critics out there say "if you want to do something, just do it no ones stopping you" (aka yingyu) but she doesnt understand what on earth its like to have an ambition and someone steal it away from you. it's a wonder why i havent given up yet. drums. yes i'm gonna do drums. *i'm not deaf mom i can bloody hear you*
no one in this family even respects me for who i am unless i'm benefiting them in some way. they all feel so safe and secure cause they know tanqijun's out there to make them feel better cause they actually think someone else is more pathetic than them. well screw you. screw my family.
maybe i'm just pms-ing
eaten. burrp. *Saturday, November 06, 2010*
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