you are what you eat

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I HAVENT REACHED MY 100th POST YET O:

haha i'm still on my 85th post ever since i got this blog. (okay sorry radndom)

its so boring i have absolutely nothing to post about. i didnt go for much visiting this yr. most of them came over to my house instead (:

i'm feeling kinda :/ cause i have school tmr. i feel really bummed out about wednesdays cause i have p.e and its the same period as my mom's form class. so obviously i get really nervous and all. like i keep telling myself to smile or soemthing when i see my seniors but i keep thinking they're like going : "ugh" haha so i have that sick feeling throughout the the whole period and anna leong's alr starting to think p.e is an alien subject for me. and somehow it seems so awkward when i see them in school. like i get really really scared and i cant be myself.

sometimes i hate myself for it and i keep thinking "god get a life qijun no one cares" dunno why i feel like that and i hate talking like this i think i better stop. i want to go "haha" somewhere in this post hello! haha okay i'm laughing at myself now. dunno if huili ma'am actually reads my blog since she tagged not long ago. hope she doesnt laugh at me.

anyway....forgetting about all that. i think i'm going crazy. i keep polishing my shoes over and over again eventhough i know their never gonna get any shinier. (?) i think i'm going to get the china person all freaked out with the burning of the boots or something. she's so awfully quiet! i'd just die if i couldnt open my mouth to say something for like 5 mins. which explains why i'm so talkative during np and i should stop cause its like annoying my seniors and all.

argh. i keep talking/thinking about np. i'm going mad cause i dont want to. i feel damn nervous about wednesdays and fridays now. when i just sit there and stone my mind drifts off to past activities and future ones where i should stop acting like such a dick or find ways to shrink to ant size so that can just go around unnoticed. ahhhhhhahahahaha.

anyway i know i'm going to fail lit test cause of stupid edulearn and i'm going to grow fatTER (cause i'm alr fat) and i'm getting annoyed at mrs chan cause she's so biased and i'm worried my mom is being a terrible form teacher cause she really doesnt know what she's doing at times.

and i'm scared our squad's never ever going to be able to bond with our nco's and i'm probably going to screw up annual parade. i'm scared i'll go crazy around my juniors and they're so freakishly tall and gonna literally look down on me. haha okay stupid things to be scared off laugh at me wont you?

i hope i hope i hope (see use the word "hope" more and not "i'm scared") things will get better in np and i also hope that i'll stop being such a prick. ew i hate sounding so emo.

haha my gosh just realsied this post is really really seriously retarded and i feel so much happier now. haha.

i cant wait for sundays :D

eaten. burrp. *Tuesday, January 27, 2009*

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